Who among us doesn’t look back at the years 1990 through 1999 with great fondness, especially if you liked Pogs, Hammer Pants, neon everything, and weak attempts at turning popular video games into movie franchises? Turns out there are many of you – over 250,000 fans descended upon RiffTrax “Worst Of” polls to give their opinions, and the good folks over at RiffTrax are pleased to present to you their Top 20 Worst Movies of the 90s. Below you’ll find 11-20, you’ll need to head on over to RiffTrax to see the top ten. However, I have to disagree with #17, The Blair Witch Project, which started a whole new class of films and TV shows that is still going today.
20. Speed 2: Cruise Control (2,944 votes)
Surprisingly, the dumbest movie of the entire decade made for an even dumber sequel. But what ultimately makes this a failure is the choice not to bring back Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as an annoying tourist.
19. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (3,404 votes)
Not even the overpowering screen presence of Paige Turco could save this from being the biggest disappointment of 1993, next to the fact that Tag Team was unable to top the magic of “Whoomp! (There It Is)”.
18. The Island of Dr. Moreau (3,496 votes)
A huge, insane, nonsense-sputtering Marlon Brando lives by himself on an island attempting to create a human/animal hybrid. Oh, and also, Marlon Brando is in the movie The Island of Dr. Moreau.
Taking a trip to Dr. Moreau’s island? Bring along our MP3 commentary track to survive!
17. The Blair Witch Project (4,347 votes)
This project, which thank God received no federal tax dollars, focuses on a carefree and creative witch who enjoys making crafts from locally sourced found objects. Three supernaturally annoying twenty-somethings set out on a mission to torment her, for some reason, and to attempt the world record at shouting the word “Josh!”
16. Anaconda (4,945 votes)
A documentary crew in the Amazon is menaced by a huge, dead-eyed monster. It’s Jon Voight! Then later, a giant snake hunts them down. J-Lo and her super-buttocks save the day; Owen Wilson plays a man made horny by everything. We riffed Anaconda live in theaters in October of 2014.
15. Highlander II: The Quickening (5,083 votes)
Producer A: “Highlander I was OK, but do you guys think it was incoherent enough?”
Producer B: “Hell no! Next one needs subplots about aliens and the ozone layer, plus a really dumb word like…”
Producer A: “…Like ‘The Quickening?’”
Producer B: “Booyah!”
There can be only one, damn it! That includes not just Highlanders but Highlander movies!
14: Spice World (5,428 votes)
A great movie because it catches the timeless and beloved musical legends The Spice Girls just as they were first starting out! Now here we are two decades later and they’re still going stronger than ever, so culturally, this film feels as fresh as a daisy! Zesty Spice, Hairy Spice, Stabby Spice and Old Spice, we still love ya!
13. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (5,796 votes)
This is a krazy-bad movie and I kan’t komprehend its plot. So if I kan borrow this kapsulization from Wikipedia: “The evil emperor Shao Kahn opens a portal from Outworld to the Earthrealm and has reclaimed his queen Sindel, who is Kitana’s long-dead mother. Earthrealm is therefore in danger of being absorbed into Outworld within six days, a fate which Liu Kang and the others must fight to prevent…” Konfounding krap! Kurse it!
12. Street Fighter (6,371 votes)
A movie based off the popular video game, it is mainly known as the inspiration for the unpopular video game Street Fighter: The Movie. Many fans objected that it did not stay true the the spirit of the video game, namely, that it did not include that guy in the background of Chun Li’s level who is strangling a chicken.
11. Showgirls (6,785 votes)
If you were a betting man, you’d have been pretty confident laying down your life savings that this moment would be the low point of Elizabeth Berkley’s acting career. But somewhere in between the moment she humped Agent Cooper in a pool and licked a stripper pole, her Hot Sundae histrionics fell by the wayside. Showgirls truly puts the “NO!!!” in “Jesse Spano.”
Want to see the top ten? Head on over to RiffTrax
Are you in the San Francisco area? See the RiifTrax crew over at SF Sketchfest 2015 this February